


even Joker says so || Bruce Wayne

by Captain_Geek



Category: Batfamily - Fandom, DC Comics, DCU
Genre: DC comics - Freeform, F/M, dc, dcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-01-06 16:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Geek/pseuds/Captain_Geek
Summary: Batman and you (Batmom) argue over a thing in the middle of a fight, the villains are there too. Watching. They don't want anything to do with the both of you until Bruce says something that pisses them off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is supposed to be in my Batfamily One-Shots but then I thought, why not make it separately.  
> I'll upload this in there too though!
> 
> This is a request from a reader on Wattpad!

You loved your husband so much, so much that it hurts, in a good way. You fight by his side every night and take care of the kids every day. You trust him with your life and he trusts you with his, there is no a second passes without you trying to protect each other no matter how far the two of you are.

You and him would spar to keep each other sharp in a fight, would be enraged if one of you get hurt, giving reassuring kisses to calm each other down, you complete him as he completes you.

There is also a time where you would fight with him over things, sometimes it would be some silly and stupid things, sometimes it would be something so big that you almost left the manor.

And now? It was the latter.

The only thing that made it different was, you were fighting while the villains were watching.

Your baby boy got hurt because Bruce just had to let him go first when you told him not to, it was dangerous but your damn son just wouldn’t listen to you.

“If you just let me do it instead of him, he wouldn’t get hurt!” You were pretty much angered by now, your sons also your number one priorities for heaven’s sake! Even though they didn’t come out of your womb you still love them.

Bruce didn’t say anything but you could feel his irritated glare under his cowl.

Somehow your sudden uproar stopped all the fights, even the crazy clown that always bothers your husband stopped whatever he was doing and watch your bickering much to your amusement.

The silence was so awkward and eerie at the same time, to make it worse you were standing in the middle of an empty street. Nothing could be heard instead of your ragged breathing.

“He knows the risk.” Bruce finally spoke in his gruff voice, a puff of air was visible due to the cold night. He looked calm and collected, knowing his son would be okay. He did worry though, just a bit.

You scoff at his stubbornness. It was so hard,  _so_ _hard_ not to let his full name slip out of your lips. “Look _-_ _–_ Batman, he’s just a kid. A  _kid_ _!_ ”

“I know.”

“Then why did you let him pull a stunt like that?!”

“He’s a strong kid.”

“What if he died?!”

Silence.

“EXACTLY!”

Bruce was visibly pissed, everybody knew that. They could see his muscles tensed under his suit, jaw clenched before he sighed for the first time that night.

“Don’t make me regret marrying you.” He blurted out without thinking.

A series of gasp was heard; Joker gasped, Scarecrow _-_ _–_ who arrived in the right time _—_  gasped, Harley and Ivy gasped, the goons gasped.

You threw your arms in the air to show him your exasperation before giving him a good slap on his cowl covered handsome face.

“I’m not going home tonight!” You hissed, walking over to Harley and Ivy without thinking.

“As much as I find it amusing, I think you went a little too far Batsy.” Joker pointed out, suddenly got pissed at your husband’s words and joined your side.

“If my puddin’ tells you that, then ya went too far.” Harley genuinely agreed. “Let’s have a girl’s night out.”

Your eyes lit up, a grin creeping up to your face as you slung your arms over the women’s shoulders as if you had known them for so long and never tried to behead each other.

“Let’s.”

The women led you out of there, leaving the men alone.

Bruce looked at you until you vanished from his sight, he very much regretted his words.

You knew he didn’t mean it but it would still be best to give him some space.

“That woman.” Bruce murmured.

“Don’t ‘that woman’ her,” Joker spoke up again, crossing his slender arms over his chest as he shifted his weight onto a leg. A deep frown on his face. “It’s your fault you stupid bat, I can’t believe you.”

“Joker’s right, even though I’m the bad guy I think saying you’re going to regret marrying her just because she worries is wrong.” Scarecrow pointed out in a matter of factly.

Bruce was speechless, for once he was made speechless. He admitted it, all he could say was; “then what should I do?”

Joker cackled, a shit-eating grin on his face. “I thought you’d never ask! Follow me, Batsy!”


	2. couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here you go, a sequel!

"Come on, Batsy! Just enjoy the show!" Joker cackled, both of his hands were on his hips as he watched the fireworks exploded in an unused building, away from the main part of the town where nobody ever laid their feet on unless for testing things.

Mostly things that could explode or harm other people.

Joker, of course, insisted that he wanted to do it at the crowded part of the town so he could see the civilians screaming in terror, thinking that he was trying to kill them all with the Batman. But after a few punches to his face, he gave up and obliged Batman's wishes, though, on their way, Joker couldn't stop whining and begging for him to change his mind.

The answer obviously a stern  **NO** from the bigger man. As if Batman going to let him destroy the town he loved the most.

They had been meeting each other for two nights, since the big fight with his wife. Batman was desperate, Batman was never desperate, there was no way he would tell his children. Especially the girls.

 _Oh_ _, heck no_.

Those three would make him sit on the couch like he was a bad little kid for hours, listening to their rant and scolding for hurting their mother figure, telling him he should  _never_ treat a woman who always put up with his bullshit for years like that.

It wasn't wrong, he admitted that. Thing was, his wife already made him sleep on the couch one day since their fight. When he came back home from his patrol that night, he found a pillow on the couch in their sitting room.

Curious, he decided to ask his wife as soon as he finished cleaning himself up. That was when he noticed  _his_ pillow was gone.

"(Y/n)?"

His wife only replied with an irritated grunt thus gave him the conclusion that she was still pissed. It usually takes her days to finally forgive him.

Heaving a sigh, he approached their bed, "where's my pillow?"

"On the couch." Her voice was groggy, she didn't even bother to turn around to meet his tired gaze.

"Why?"

"You're sleeping on the couch, Mr. Wayne," ouch, talk about holding a grudge, "I'm making you regret marrying me."

"You're being immature." The dark haired man stated bluntly, he was also tired so he wasn't really aware he had said those words until his wife turned her head around to glare at him. Her eyes were bloodshot red, tears streak on her cheek.

"Fuck you. Out."

He didn't move.

"Out. I say," she demanded as she started to sat up, "I don't care how handsome you are, I don't wanna see your face for now."

Bruce could smell a faint alcohol scent from her, that explained why she was being more emotional than usual. She probably drank and cried herself to sleep. If he didn't feel guilty then, he sure as hell does now, he did feel bad after he let the word 'regret' slip out of his mouth.

"Alright." He caves in, standing up before walking towards their door.

He heard faint shuffling from the bed but he didn't turn to check, as he about to step out of the room he felt something warm and soft bumped into his back. He looked over his shoulder to find the gorgeous woman he loves holding a thick blanket.

"Here, even though I'm mad I don't want you to get sick." She mumbled, shoving the blanket further towards him as he turned around, taking it from her arms.

"Thank you."

"Goodnight, Bruce." Was the words she said before closing the door, he could remember the faintest smile on her lips.

Bruce inwardly sighed, he totally deserved that. Sleeping on the couch. It wouldn't be so bad if those childish boys of his didn't laugh at him because of it, then again, he should've woke up earlier or maybe don't sleep at all.

Jason was the one who started the fire.

Duh.

Obviously.

"Ha, Batman's sleeping on the couch because his wife is mad." Jason snickered, a cup of black coffee in his hand as he passed the couch Bruce was sleeping on. Jason went off to look for the other boys who came not too long after.

Dick let out a full-blown laugh, he went as far as falling onto the floor as he laughed wholeheartedly. "How was it feels like? Getting kicked out?" He wheezed. "What did you do anyway? Using cheesy pick-up lines to get her forgive you?"

"Dick," Bruce warned, only to make his oldest son laugh more.

Damian held a satisfied smirk on his usual blank face, his arms crossed over his chest amusedly. "You deserved it, father." He obviously trying to bit back a laugh, failing after a few seconds.

Tim was leaning his arms over the backrest of the couch, looking down at his adopted father as he let out the most shorter laugh of them all. "You need to stop it guys, I can see the smoke fuming above his head."

Bruce was a little pissed but he deserved it really.

Another loud  _bang_ brought him back to reality, along with Joker's crazy cackle. He inwardly groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose over his cowl.

"How is this supposed to help?" He asked in his gruff voice, already exasperated at this point.

"I don't know," Joker replied, his eyes were still staring at the burning building before him. His thin figure was illuminated by the light from the fire, it kind of reminds him when he let a beaten up Jason to die because of his injuries  _and_ the explosion of his bomb. The thought makes him grin.

Bruce stayed silent, letting the green haired clown have his moments. After this, he would totally dump his ass back into the Asylum.

Joker turned around a bored look on his face. "That was pretty boring." He grunted, "anyways, what did you expect, Batsy? Do you really think I have a beautiful and peaceful love life? Nooo! Do you even realize that I'm actually an abusive bastard? Ha! Stupid bat, just ask Harley!" The sicko was visibly proud of his words.

There was no way he would admit that he was desperate to his longtime enemy. He took a few steps closer towards Joker, "I know. I'm just playing along so I can get you back into the Asylum."

Joker gasped in mock hurt, "you bastard _-_ _\--_ _ac_ k!"

Bruce interrupted him by landing a punch to his face, partly for being an abusive little shit and partly for wasting his time, he saw the clown cradled his cheek that would surely bruise in the morning.

Before the fight could go any further, he sent Joker unconscious with another hit to his forehead. He slung the clown's limp body over his shoulder, bringing him to where he belonged.

"Where have you been?" His wife's sleepy voice ringed in his earpiece as he closed the metal door to Joker's cell. "I couldn't track you a few minutes ago."

"I had to play along with Joker's game," he answered, making his way out of the said place. A sick moaning could be heard from each door he passed, sometimes it was crying and sometimes it was silent.

Bruce heard his wife let out a relieved breath from the other side of the line, she must have been waiting for him to come home or maybe Alfred told her that he couldn't be tracked, either way, it brought a little smile to his face. Glad that no one was around to see his soft side.

"I'll be back soon after making a few stops, go to sleep, beloved."

"Okay, careful."

After about an hour being out he finally got back home. Out of his outfit and ready to go to bed _\---_ in this case, couch. Before he does, he went up to his shared room. The door faintly creaked as he opened it enough for him to sneak inside.

There she was, sleeping peacefully, hugging a pillow to replace his absent figure. He placed a bouquet of her favorite kinds of flowers on the nightstand along with an apology written on a piece of paper. He wasn't really good with apologizing, he often left a note and a little something instead of saying it, but he sure would apologize to her in the morning.

"Jerk." She muttered.

Bruce froze, he turned his head over slowly. She was still sleeping. He knelt down by the bed, this way he was able to see her sleeping face properly. There was a frown on her face.

"Must be dreaming about me." He breathed out a chuckle at his own joke, he leaned over, placing a kiss on her forehead making a smile replacing her earlier frown. "I'm glad I can call you my wife."

Standing back up, he brought the blanket that had been crumpled under her legs up over her body before making his way out of their bedroom so he could sleep on the couch.

"Goodnight." He then closed the door behind him.

Mentally preparing himself just in case his boys decided to make fun of him again.

**Author's Note:**

> The readers on Wattpad seem to enjoy this, so I thought, why not spread the happiness?  
> I hope you like it! All mistakes are mine!
> 
>  
> 
> \- Lots of love, Kaz♥


End file.
